Ok, here we go, this is my first official blog post ever! And so far it's kind of aggravating trying to figure out how this all works, so bear with me while I figure it out.

It's almost exactly a month until I leave for my trip, and setting up this blog is only one of the roughly 10,000 things I still have to do in order to kind of feel sort of ready to go.

Other than this, I'm still paring down all the stuff I own, which was not an easy thing to get started at all, then got weirdly easy and even cathartic the more things I tossed, sold, or gave away. Now that I've saved and stored only the most sentimental or crucial items that I decided I just can't live without, making the last leap to owning only what I can carry in my backpack is getting kind of tough again. I'll be moving in with my boyfriend for the last two weeks before I leave, so hopefully the idea of having less stuff to drag to Petaluma will be the motivation I need to make the final cut.

Ironically, after getting rid of probably 95% of my earthly possessions, I find myself making lists of new things I need for the trip. I haven't backpacked in a very long time, and the last time I did I packed all wrong, so I'm nervously trying to figure out the perfect combination of stuff that will get me by until I get my feet under me again. I'm sure this is just me clinging too tightly to one of the small aspects of this thing that I can control, but hey, it cuts down on the fear of not being ready to go, so that helps. Also, I'll be on such a tight budget once I'm on the road that I won't have the luxury of new clothes and fancy gadgets, so trying to anticipate and take care of the potentially expensive stuff now feels pretty worthwhile.

After those things, I need to get a ridiculous seeming amount of paperwork together. I finally finished with all the recommended vaccines to exotic, horrible sounding and deadly diseases, and need to make paper and electronic copies of those records, plus the same for my passport, ID, debit cards, financial info, etc, etc, etc... It makes my brain hurt to think of it all, so I've been spending a lot of time on Netflix binges instead of actually being productive. The United States of Tara is an incredibly good show if anyone is looking for a new addiction, by the way.

And then there's the emotional weight growing heavier and heavier in the back of my mind of saying goodbye to family, friends, co-workers, my amazing boyfriend and my cat; stuff so crazy difficult I can't even think about it for long. It's much easier to think of packing lists and whatnot.

I'm incredibly excited to start this new chapter of my life, but I'll be SO relieved once all the prepwork is done! After that it's all adventure, new experiences and the personal growth that those things foster, which, when I remind myself that this is why I'm doing this trip, makes most of that other stuff seem trivial. I'm sure a year from now I'll be laughing at my stressed out pre-trip self, but it's hard to get out of the mindset of a comfortable, predictable, non-portable life without a certain amount of fear for the future. I just keep reminding myself that this kind of fear is a good thing. It means I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and doing something exciting with my life. Every time I've challenged myself like this before I've changed and grown for the better. It's always been worth it, and I'm so happy and grateful that I've been able to seize another opportunity to do something like this.