Greetings from Perth! After a few of the best and most
exhausting weeks of my life I’ve fled to the west coast to hide from reality
and recharge my batteries, literally and figuratively. Here’s my first attempt
at catching up on everything that’s happened since I left Adelaide. Settle in,
this is a reeeally long post! Fair warning.
I had booked a 6 day tour from Adelaide to Alice Springs. The
bus picked me up from Shakespeare’s along with two others I hadn’t met yet and
we spent the first part of the day picking up the rest of our group. I don’t
remember much of that, the odds are pretty good that I slept through it. When I
came to there were somehow 22 people on the bus including our guide, and we did
brief introductions and wrote our names and where we were from on the windows
over our seats.
We drove for a while, I’m not sure but most of us probably
fell asleep again, then stopped at Port Germain for lunch. We walked down the
longest wooden pier in the world (or something close to it), it really was
crazy long, looking for stingrays and sharks in the water. We did see a couple
of stingrays, and even a pod of dolphins cruising by! We agreed that was a good
omen for the trip, and I’m pleased to report that we couldn’t have been more
right about that!
See the dolphins? Look close!
I guess the pier used to be longer...
Reeeeeeally far from the shore!
After a stop for coffee at Blundstone’s Blacksmith shop, the
last decent coffee we would see all week, we headed to Alligator Gorge for a
short hike. We all started getting to know each other in earnest while enjoying
the scenery and some really cool rock formations. We even saw wild emus on the
way out of the park, which was really cool. They look like prehistoric
creatures, just out wandering the landscape.
Blundstone's
The crew at Alligator Gorge
Really cool rock formations
We didn't see any alligators...
But there were wild emus!
After more driving (there was a LOT of driving on this trip)
we stopped for our first wood-collecting expedition, which turned out to be
really fun. In the outback you just drive until you see some dead trees, then
start pulling the branches off and knocking down trunks until you’ve got enough
wood for a massive fire. It’s really fun, kind of brings out your inner
barbarian. Someone even found a witchetty grub in one of the branches, which is
a traditional aboriginal snack. Our guide, Sam, gave us an unspeakably
disgusting description of what they tasted like, and shockingly nobody was game
to try it. I don’t have a picture, but look them up; they’re huge and really
unappetizing.
Wood collecting...
In the middle of nowhere!
We camped that night in a really nice campground which had
bathrooms and a kitchen and everything, which was a bit of a relief because I
thought we would be sleeping in the proper outback, dodging snakes and spiders
to pee on trees and whatnot. It was the first night in a swag for most of us,
which was great, a real Aussie way to camp. A swag is like a big canvas
sleeping bag with a mattress pad on the bottom. You roll it out and put your
sleeping bag inside, and it’s like your own tiny personal tent. It’s actually
really comfortable, and so nice to be all warm and cozy in your swag looking up
at about a trillion stars. Of course, that first night it was so cold and windy
those of us lacking the good sense to sleep in the kitchen had a bit of a rough
night. But the stars were gorgeous!
The view from our campsite
The next morning we were up for breakfast at 5:30, then back
into the bus for an even longer day of driving. Did I mention there was a lot
of driving? Australia is huge! We were on the way to Coober Pedy, an opal
mining town that’s so hot most of the living quarters are built underground.
Seriously. But more on that in a minute.
All the driving was pretty rough on everyone...
On the way we made a couple of stops at some cool places,
one was Heart Lake, a massive salt flat which becomes a lake every once in a
while when it happens to rain. It was really cool walking out of the red sand
onto what looked like snow. It was huge, and seemed to go on forever, an
illusion that was reinforced by a mirage at the end that made it look like the
salt never ended, just ran off the edge of the world. There are a lot of weird
mirages and optical illusions like that in the outback, it messes with your
mind a little!
Funky outback tree
Everyone walking onto the snow, er, salt flat
It was a bit chilly out there!
Doesn't it look like the earth just ends over there?
Then it was back onto the bus for a short nap, until we
finally arrived at Coober Pedy. So, like I said, most of the living quarters
are dug straight underground into the rock, which is pretty ingenious. The
early opal miners started doing this when they figured out it was too hot to
actually survive on the surface, but their mines and tunnels stayed fairly
comfortable year-round. The name is aboriginal, and means ‘white man’s burrow’,
I can only imagine how strange it seemed to see all these sweaty miners popping
up out of the ground like lizards.
Another short nap...
These were invented in Coober Pedy (not the truck, but the thing on the back)
Some helpful advice
Open mineshafts!
We checked into our bunkhouse, this was the only night we
wouldn’t sleep in a swag all week, and we were staying underground just like
locals! I’m not the only one who had an amazing night’s sleep – it’s so dark,
quiet, and the perfect temperature down there, even with a snorer (*ahem*
Michael!) or two in the group it was incredibly comfortable. The rock makes
everything echo, so snoring is especially loud in a room with 30 or so bunks!
Our humble abode
Cozy!
The view from our front 'porch'
After we dropped off our stuff we went to an opal mine and
museum for a video on the history of opal mining, an opal cutting
demonstration, a tour of a typical Coober Pedy house and an opal mine. It turns
out over 90% of the world’s opals come from Australia, and most of those come
from Coober Pedy. I was totally suckered in by the incredible collection they
had in the shop, and I wasn’t the only one!
Underground movie theater!
Opal cutting
Underground living room. Seems nice!
I could totally be an opal miner...
We went to dinner at a local pizza place, then went to a Josephine’s
Gallery and Kangaroo Orphanage run by a husband and wife, where we played
dijeridoos appallingly in their art gallery and met the sweetest kangaroos
ever, including baby Jeremy who was only 6 months old! He was the cutest
spindliest little thing I’ve ever seen, and not entirely steady on his feet
yet. It was like watching Bambi learn to walk, absolutely adorable! The owners
bottle feed him every four hours, which they said wasn’t too bad with just one,
but sometimes they have 5 or 6 at a time, and they’re literally up all night
with the little guys!
A couple residents of Coober Pedy
Really cool mural, if you ignore the billboard behind it
Another resident. I think he's been there for quite a while...
Coober Pedy sunset
The residents of the orphanage
Baby Jeremy!
Kinda skinny for a baby, I thought. He's happy and healthy though!
Everyone was in love
Every joey needs a pouch!
After a soccer (sorry, football)
game in the yard of our bunkhouse and an incredible night’s sleep we were up
early again to catch the sunrise over the town. We all lost it when our
reverent silence was shattered by Sam blasting that song from the Lion King (you
know the one, from the beginning) at full volume from the bus just as the sun
came up.
Coober Pedy sunrise
It's a rare occurrence if I'm awake to witness sunrise, so I figured I needed proof.
We headed out towards The Breakaways, massive stone
formations in the middle of the flattest and most barren landscape I’ve ever
seen. This area is where a ton of movies have been filmed when they need an
alien, especially Martian, set. It’s also the site of probably the least-known
man made wonder of the world: a fence.
I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have a name, but this fence stretches for over 5,300
meters north to south, it’s longer than the Great Wall of China, and was built
to keep dingoes away from sheep. For reals. It’s incredible what people can do
when they put their minds to it, isn’t it?
Mars, right?!
The longest fence in the world! Epic, no?
The Breakaways
After The Breakaways we were in for the longest day of driving
yet, 13 hours. I don’t know if I mentioned it yet, but Australia is huge. We
did a lot of driving. We started in on some car games to break up the drive,
and even though everyone had been friendly and getting to know each other
pretty quickly so far, I think those games are what finally merged a group of
22 strangers into a family. We separated into 3 teams of 7 and played movie
trivia, general trivia, and a game where we all came up with challenges that we
could do on the bus while driving (safely and responsibly, of course) and did
them as teams and as individuals, where your team would get the points for
whatever you did. It was so fun and absolutely hilarious, we all laughed so
hard our stomachs hurt. My lawyer has advised me that I can’t really go into
detail on the specifics, but trust me, it was a blast!
By the time we stopped for lunch we were all feeling the
competitive spirit full on; David even made a valiant attempt to eat all the
leftover taco fillings (about a pound of meat and veggies) from lunch for an extra
25 points to his team.
A valiant effort! That was a lot of food!
Before camp that night we had another wood-collecting
expedition, then stopped at the beginning of the West MacDonnell Ranges for
some pictures.
Oh yeah, we were officially in the NT by then!
The West MacDonnell ranges
We rolled into our campsite to see two things that blew my
mind. There were camels! I’d never seen a camel before, they’re huge! There was
even a baby, which was about the size of a horse. Also, there was gas that was
almost $10 a gallon! Holy crap! These places are so remote that people don’t
have a choice, they have to fill up when they pass by so prices are hardly
competitive, but $10 a gallon?! Wow.
We set up camp and while everyone set to making a fire, setting up camp, cooking dinner, Vivian and I ran off to take pictures of the camels and the breathtaking sunset. Don’t worry, we helped with the dishes!
Baby camel! Probably the biggest baby anything I've ever seen.
And crazy expensive gas! $2.36 a liter, and there are about 4 liters in a gallon...yikes!!!
We set up camp and while everyone set to making a fire, setting up camp, cooking dinner, Vivian and I ran off to take pictures of the camels and the breathtaking sunset. Don’t worry, we helped with the dishes!
I love this goofy face!
His buddy wasn't about to let him get all the attention.
Outback sunset
Outback sunset take 2. I couldn't get enough!
After dinner we all sat around the fire talking and roasting
marshmallows, we took some cool pictures on Vivian’s camera using my glow poi
and long exposure times to write our names and make some cool patterns with
light, then were all wowed when Lieke pulled out her guitar and played a few
songs for us. She had been fairly quiet up until then, except for a couple of
the most perfectly timed rude outbursts we had all week, and all of us had a
hard time reconciling said outbursts with such beautiful music. She has an
incredible voice and plays so well, even writes her own songs! It was a really
special thing to hear her play.
Perfect campsite!
Bonding around the campfire
After spending our first night under the stars in the proper
outback (underground living is great, but my only complaint about Coober Pedy
is that you can’t see the sky when you’re under 3 meters of rock!), red sand in
my sleeping bag and all, we got up early again to hike King’s Canyon.
I had another freaky giant bug moment that morning. After
rolling up a tarp with one of the guys, I was standing around talking with some
of the group waiting to head out for the day, and I felt something tickle my
leg. I wasn’t too bothered; the flies are out of control in the outback, so I
just assumed that’s what it was, only looking down when shaking my foot around
didn’t seem to scare the little buggers off.
Imagine my surprise when instead of a harmless little fly I
saw an 8 INCH CENTIPEDE crawling up my leg! Unfortunately I didn’t get a
picture because I was dancing around like a lunatic and inventing new swear
words until the thing fell off and scurried away. I don’t know if they bite or
are poisonous, but I was not at all interested in finding out. At least I was
awake after that, you don’t need coffee at 6 in the morning when something like
that goes down.
You have to get up early out there because if you’re out in
the canyon after 11am the heat is extremely dangerous, people die all the time.
In fact, the very first part of the hike is called Heart Attack Hill, aptly
named because it’s almost completely vertical, and multiple people have died of
heart attacks while climbing it.
Heart Attack Hill
The views make it worth the climb
Incredible rocks!
Luckily we all made it up, and the rest of the hike was
absolutely incredible. We were hiking over ancient rock formations, there are
fossils in the rock below your feet, and everywhere you look takes your breath
away with the ancient beauty of the place.
More incredible rocks!
Herman with some of his long lost relatives. Those lines on the rock are actually fossilized worms!
King's Canyon itself
At one point you cross the canyon itself and about a third
of us, distracted by a photo shoot at Australia’s answer to Pride Rock, managed
to get ourselves a bit lost. Somehow we had gotten ahead of the group, but we
were convinced we had fallen behind, so we started hiking at full speed to
catch up.
At the bottom of the canyon
Looking up from the canyon floor
Totally worth getting lost for this pic! Herman plays a pretty good Simba.
After about a half hour of this we were told by another tour
guide that our group had probably doubled back to check out a waterhole, and we
should go back to find them. Luckily this wasn’t a super hot day, it was still
early, and we found them without any drama going down. In other circumstances
that could have actually been a pretty dangerous situation, but our guide
refrained from smacking us around too much. I’m sure he wasn’t overjoyed with
us though. Leave it to 7 or 8 adults to get lost on a hike where there is a
single path. No options of where to go, but somehow we managed to screw it up!
At least the views were nice while we were wandering around all lost...
These are called beehives. Wonder why?
Paolo and Mark taking a break. Getting lost is hard work!
Herman thoroughly enjoyed King's Canyon.
Almost there!
Pee break in the outback! Good times.
I had a really cool moment while we were driving there, too.
I was just drifting off to sleep when a song I liked came on the radio. Crush,
by the Dave Matthews Band (of course) in case anyone is interested... Anyway, it
woke me up just in time to see a pack of wild camels heading off into the bush!
Adults and babies and everything, it was really moving to see them just out in
the wild doing their thing. I had never even seen a camel before the previous
day, and then there’s a whole group of wild ones! I looked around to see if
anyone else had noticed, but everyone else was asleep.
After that we made a couple of pit stops for photos at the
main crossroads leading to Uluru and Kata Tjuta national park, and some other
giant rock formation that I’ve forgotten the name of dubbed Fooluru, because it
looks similar and everyone thinks it’s Uluru when they see it, even though you
are still a few hours out at that point.
You can see why people get confused...
Another salt flat, which I also don't remember the name of. I wasn't paying attention at all that day!
When we finally got into the park and dropped our stuff off
at the campsite it was late afternoon, so we headed straight to a lookout point
to watch the sun go down at Uluru. It was such a beautiful and moving
experience to finally be in a place I’d dreamed about going my whole life, made
even better by the fact that I was sharing it with an amazing group of people
who had all grown so close during the adventures of the last few days. We really
were like a family by then, and we had a blast taking group pictures,
photobombing the pictures of other tourists who had paid through the nose to
have the exact same experience as us, only with a glass of champagne over a
fancy linen tablecloth. How could we not mess with them a bit? I might be
biased, but I’m sure our group had the better deal. Tired and sunburnt and
dirty as we were, we had a blast drinking our beers and goon, playing Frisbee
in the parking lot and just enjoying life and the novelty of being with friends
in an altogether beautiful place while these folks sat around taking themselves
incredibly seriously.
Uluru!!!
It's really not as big as the pictures make it look. Also I'm super strong.
Herman even decided to get in focus for the occasion!
See, I can be classy! Who says I can't?
Frisbee and beer in one of the coolest places in the world! No big deal.
The whole group admiring the view...
The colors were incredible as the sun went down
The stars are so bright they show up even before the sun is gone
Sam made us dinner while we were off messing around, and we
ate it on the ground in the parking lot, sitting on our swags in a circle.
Afterwards a few of us bought some traditional aboriginal art from some ladies
that came through the parking lot selling it, then we headed back to the
campsite for showers, more drinks, and a beautiful night sleeping in red sand
with billions of stars shining overhead.
It was up even earlier the next morning, 4:30 wakeup and
packing up camp to get to another lookout and watch the sun rise with Uluru on
one side and Kata Tjuta on the other, absolutely beautiful despite the
grogginess.
Uluru at sunrise
The crew with Kata Tjuta in the background
After breakfast and a short drive we were at Kata Tjuta, another
strongly spiritual aboriginal site, for an early hike and some great geology
lessons and storytelling by Sam. The hike was our most beautiful yet, through
some incredible rock formations including a place called The Valley of the
Winds by the aboriginal people. The wind got quite strong as we walked through,
and you could truly feel an ancient power there, there’s no question why it’s a
sacred site to the people who have lived there for tens of thousands of years,
and this kicked of a really interesting discussion of religion and spirituality
between a few of us as we walked.
Storytime!
Dwarfed by Kata Tjuta
Beautiful rock formations!
It looks prehistoric...
Herman came along, of course!
For any of you reading who may not know, my mom died of
breast cancer almost 15 years ago, which obviously affected me deeply, in ways
I’m still only just realizing. She taught in Australia for two years back in
the 70’s, then traveled the world from there. If that sounds familiar it’s not an
accident; this trip I’m on has an awful lot to do with her and her life and me
dealing with her death. I’ve always associated Australia with my mom, and Uluru
and the outback are so iconic of Australia to me that I was feeling her
presence more and more strongly as we approached the center of the country.
This day and the days leading up to it had been especially emotional, and this
emotion combined with the spiritual intensity of these aboriginal sites and
being with a group of people that I now felt so close to was starting to affect
me deeply. It was jarring and a bit unsettling, but also very cathartic.
Right before I left on this trip my dad had set up a day to
look through my mom’s old pictures and stuff from her travels with some of her
friends and sisters, and one thing I found was a shirt she’d brought back from Alice
Springs, a city in the dead center of the outback. I brought this shirt along
with me on my trip, and I had it in my backpack for the hike. I was planning on
taking a couple of pictures with it, kind of like how Paulo, our Portuguese
representative would take pictures with the Portuguese flag at different points
along the way. Like Herman, but much more meaningful.
Of course there were questions when I got it out and asked
someone to take my picture, but all the events leading up to that moment, and
the friendship and warmth I was feeling from my travel companions let me talk
about mom, her travels and the parallels with my trip with an openness I had
pretty much never experienced before. It was hard, but also very healing.
After our hike we were all pretty tired, and I was feeling
rather emotionally drained as well, and a steak lunch back at the campsite was
more than welcome. Unfortunately, the much anticipated pool was closed for
maintenance, which was devastating news for us all. We still managed to enjoy
our free time though...
That afternoon we went to the Aboriginal Cultural Center, a
really cool thing that has been established at most of the national parks here,
where you can learn the aboriginal history and culture associated with a site
instead of just the European version of history. It was fascinating, and I was
incredibly struck by the sense of welcome that the aboriginal custodians of the
area convey to visitors, in spite of the sacredness of the site and the history
of cultural destruction these people have suffered at the hands of Europeans. They
are still very welcoming and happy to share their culture and traditions with
anyone interested in learning about it.
I managed to lose track of time in there, and after the
group had sent Mar to come drag me out, we drove up to Uluru for the first
time, to walk a small section of the path that circles it, and listen to some aboriginal
creation stories relating to the site from Sam. This was an incredible and
moving experience made all the more powerful because we were sitting in the
sand at the base of a Uluru itself, looking at the very features that were
explained in the stories. It was easily one of my favorite parts of the whole
trip, I really felt like I was getting a glimpse of the wonder and awe an
aboriginal child would feel as they sat and listened to the same stories for
the first time, sitting in the sand and dwarfed by this incredible rock, the
way the people of this place have learned about their world for tens of
thousands of years. Sorry science, but spirituality won me over this time,
despite the geological uniqueness of the site. I could really see the pawprint
of an evil monster dingo spirit and a python conducting a ceremony to turn
herself into a human, not erosion caused over time by water and wind… Honestly,
it wasn’t even a contest.
One of many cool features you don't see until you're right next to the rock
Aboriginal rock art, some of it is thousands of years old!
This is the wave cave! I'm pretty sure that wasn't it's original name though...
Monster dingo pawprint, right? It's about 10 feet tall.
More rock art
The black stripe is a waterfall from time to time
That night we went to a different lookout spot, blissfully
free of other tourists, for another sunset dinner with Uluru dominating the
horizon. On the way back to our camp Sam put on three songs that he claimed (claims
NOT endorsed by your author) showcased the most amazing vocal talents of our
time. While one or two of the artists themselves were hotly disputed, this eventually
evolved into everyone playing three songs from their home country, which was
really fun. We had music from Portugal, Denmark, Holland, South Korea, Taiwan,
France, England, California (sorry, rest of the US), even a live performance
from Shaun of a traditional Welsh song, and more original songs by Lieke! Some
was political, funny, sad, or just downright awesome, but it was such a cool
bonding experience to see everyone showcase something they were proud of and
reminded them of home, and for everyone else to get a chance to appreciate it.
Beautiful spot for dinner, again!
Our trusty bus with the last of the daylight on our last night in the outback.
Nobody wanted to go to bed that night, since it was our last
night all together, not to mention we had quite a bit of beer and goon left to
drink! For the record, I’m off the stuff now. I’ve resolved that I’ll spend the
extra money to drink something I enjoy and isn’t so overtly poisonous. Yay
beer! At any rate, it was a bittersweet binge session with the group that night,
and even though we were getting up before sunrise again the next morning, I don’t
think anyone regretted staying up as late as we could manage. I was torn
between blissed out and bummed as I watched the Milky Way pass by overhead,
laying in the red sand with the fire burning low and new friends all around,
one last night.
My warm fuzzy feelings evaporated at exactly 4:30 during our
wakeup call, and we once again packed up and piled half-asleep onto the bus for
the drive out to Uluru. That morning we would be walking all around the base of
the rock, starting before sunrise. I thought this was an incredible idea, once
I was officially awake, but I guess not everyone appreciated the almost three
hour long hike pre-breakfast because a large chunk of the group took off at
near-running pace. I fell to the back pretty quickly and walked the majority of
the hike by myself.
Sunrise colors on Uluru
I was really looking forward to seeing the entire rock, and
tried to open myself up to whatever feelings and memories would arise during
the hike. I knew it was going to be emotional, and I felt like being there and
walking around it was a sort of pilgrimage, and while not everything that arose
was pleasant, it was an incredibly powerful experience. Afterwards I was left
more physically and emotionally exhausted than I can remember being in a very
long time, but I also felt good. I was refreshed, like a massive weight I’ve been
carrying for years, for so long that I had mostly gotten used to it and
accepted that it would never move, had actually lifted a bit.
Towards the end of the hike I really started to hustle,
because although I didn’t think I had fallen too far behind the group, it had
been a long time since I had seen anyone else and I didn’t want to make
everyone wait for me again. I assumed people would be kind of irritated because
they would have to wait to clean up from breakfast and get on the road because
I was off doing my own thing. I couldn’t have been more wrong, and once again I
was completely overwhelmed by the awesomeness of my travel buddies. When I
finally reached the camper Eri handed me the breakfast she had set aside for me,
Jelte handed me a cup of coffee, and Paulo grabbed a stool for me so I could
sit down and eat. I was so moved by everyone’s kindness, and such a huge amount
of emotion so early in the day I just about started crying, but managed to cram
some yogurt in my face instead and pull myself together.
I assumed I would immediately fall asleep on the bus, I was
completely drained, but aside from a quick nap I found myself once again
staring out the windows at the scenery, unwilling and unable to sleep and miss
any of the outback rolling by the windows. We played a few more games on the
drive to Alice, and while I legally can’t go into detail about them we had a
great, if increasingly competitive time. We also passed a Thorny Devil lizard
sunning itself in the road and Sam pulled over to grab him and bring him on the
bus for a minute so we could all get a good look, they are really cool animals!
doesn't he just look like a badass?!
Speaking of animals, we stopped just outside of Alice
Springs to ride camels! Did I mention they were huge? Because it is super
intimidating to climb on the back of one to go for a run! Yeah they run,
apparently pretty fast too, because there’s actually a race that takes place
called the Camel Cup. We just got a jog out of them, which was enough for most
of us because it’s super bumpy up there. Great fun though! We were all in
hysterics riding them and watching each other’s reactions.
Mark, Lieke and Jelte were the only ones brave enough to go first...
Paulo, Sam, Sanne and I were next, we got over our nervousness pretty fast!
Ewa, Vivian and Janko came next...
And last but certainly not least, Mar, JD, Jessica and Mickael
I love this girl's face, what a ham! She clearly loves having her picture taken. Camels are the best.
We stopped for one last group photo at the Alice Springs
sign, which was as bittersweet as much of that day, but we managed to have a
good time with it anyway. Again, I was really moved when Sandra went out of her
way to make sure I got a good picture with mom’s shirt and the sign, knowing
how important it was to me.
All the group pics are on Vivian's camera, so in lieu of one of those, here's one of her taking the group pic. It's like inception with cameras!
I was so happy to be able to bring this shirt back to Alice, after almost 40 years.
After checking in to all our respective hostels and hotels,
we all (except for Michael, who had to hop on another bus for the 22 hour ride to Darwin that night, poor
bastard) got showered and dressed up and met for dinner, drinks, and debauchery,
tearing up Alice like we owned the place! Again, I’m contractually restricted
from giving the details, but it was an epic time. There were plenty of laughs,
and no small amount of teary goodbyes, but it was made a little easier by promises
to meet up later in our travels, and the fact that a good amount of the group
was staying in Alice for a couple of nights, and we planned on meeting up and
nursing our collective hangover by the pool the next day.
So ends one of the most fun, happy, and emotional
weeks of my life. I made friends and had experiences that I will remember for
the rest of my life, all in a place I have dreamed of for as long as I can
remember. I think that the emotional weight I’ve long placed on the outback and
Uluru is responsible for so much of what transpired that week, but I know that
it wouldn’t have been so overwhelmingly positive and healing if I hadn’t shared
it with such an incredible group of people. Everyone was so open and friendly
and accepting that I wasn’t afraid to be myself and experience whatever I was
feeling without fear or self-consciousness, and that is something I will
forever be grateful to every person in that group for.